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Talk:Steel Guard
Headcount not found? AKA Trying to Dodge the 1000 Marine Limit. Blackdamp (talk) 09:22, December 20, 2016 (UTC) I'm with Blackdamp on this: " ++HEADCOUNT NOT FOUND++ " is a bit of a cheap way to get around the limit of 1,000 Marines, so let's put it this way: *If there really were more than 1,000 Marines in the Chapter and their numbers played a pivitol role in the writing of this Chapter, then it would sitll be against the Wiki's policy whether you ecpliicitly state how far above 1,000 Marines they were or not. *If whether or not they have more than 1,000 Marines plays no part in your conception or detailing of this Chapter, then why bother putting it in as a feature at all? Why not make the Chapter's numbers noticably less than 1,000 and then come up with some cool narative as to why their numbers are that low? Either way, it serves you better to conform to the Wiki's policy and have this Chapter (and any future Chapters you create) conform to being 1,000 Marines or less. As an additional note: There are plenty of much more interesting ways for your Chapter can earn the suspicion of the Inquisition. Apart from that, I would like to draw your attention to the following: *I would think about making some of your sentences shorter and - in some cases - less colloquial. It will make your article not only easier to read but a more interesting and better read. *In the first paragraph, you state that the Chapter was Founded in th Sentinel Founding, but you say that their Founding is 'Unstated' in the infobox. This information is obviously contradictory, so I'd say pick one or the other. *The Chapter's Specialties are an issue: **'Defense' is very broad. Try picking a specific type of defensive action that they are good at. **'Humanitarian Aid' is more of a Chapter Characteristic rather than a Speciality. ***It also is a characteristic not commonly emphasised by Astartes outside of the Salamanders and their Successor Chapters, but that should preclude you from making it a characteristic of your Chapter. It's just something worth noting. **'Infantry/Dreadnought Combat' - Again, this isn't a speciality. Every Chapter uses infantry and at least a majorty of Chapters use Dreadnoughts, so you might have to turn this into something more specific. **'Menial Military Tasks Most Chapters Refuse' - Again, this isn't a speciality. A characteristic of the Chapter than you can elaborate on to add depth to your Chapter? Yes; but is it a Speciality? No. *If they were stranded on a planet with - if I'm understanding what you've written correctly - less than 70 Astartes, that Chapter is unlikely to be allowed to recover even if they were found immediately, instead probably being folded into another Chater or permanently interred into the Deathwatch and their Gene-Seed never to be used again. Though I like the idea of the surviving members of the Chapter being stranded and waiting for rescue, I would rework this idea a bit if I were you. It has potential, but needs to be done differently. *A Chapter doesn't just 'put' worlds where they want them to be. It's a combination of the Imperium adopting worlds already settled by mankind and the Imperium settling worlds. **A Fuedal World wouldn't just be 'put there'. It would more likely be a human world rediscovered by the Imperium that already had a fuedal society. **Forge Worlds are extablished and maintained by the Adeptus Mechanicus, not the Adeptus Astartes. If anyone was going to establish a Forge World, it would be and only ever be the Adeptus Mechanicus. **Space Marine Chapters would never just 'put' worlds anywhere. Even if they could, that's not how establishing worlds works. **In light of the above three sub-points, you may want to review this section of your Chapter. Hope this helps :) IllumiNini (talk) 10:07, December 20, 2016 (UTC)